There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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