I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
