Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
