Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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