I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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