her vagine was all disorganized.
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
