I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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