she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
