her vagine was all disorganized.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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