I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Randomize
