You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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