Non-Jews are for practice
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
