Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
