You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
