just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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