my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
