This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
