He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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