the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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