Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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