she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
