Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
