She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
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