yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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