I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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