I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
