fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
