I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Is Oprah even human
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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