I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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