omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
