I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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