For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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