Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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