I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
