lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
