We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
