i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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