theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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