i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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