Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
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He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
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You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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