Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
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