She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
