I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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