sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Randomize
