He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
