I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
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