I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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