he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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