i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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