okay pat passed out under dana's car
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Randomize
