Apparently you make a good broom.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
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