I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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