Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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