What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She bit a glass in half.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
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