rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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