Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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