This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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