You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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